She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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