I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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