Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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