He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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