a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
