dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
