bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
