the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
