D3 body, D1 cock
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
