I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
