Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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