i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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