Me. At least after what I've been through.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
