I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
