What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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