A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
