Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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