at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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