'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
