Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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