I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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