wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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