i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
