Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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