Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
