I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
