I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
