I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
