i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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