I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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