the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
