Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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