dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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