alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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