just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
