shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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