this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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