Define "chronic" masturbator.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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