its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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