he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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