just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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