Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
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