I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
