dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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