I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
