No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
