At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
