I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
