Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
