after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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