remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
